he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
