Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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