the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
