There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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