yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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