Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
