his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
