yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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