Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
