Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Welp...herpes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
