im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
