We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
