Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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