I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
