have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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