would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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