I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She is in my trunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
