WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
