can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
