Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize