Your tits are I can't wait for
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
