member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
