We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
