Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
did i just pee glitter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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