We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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