even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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