Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
