I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
