literally had 100 drinks last night.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
