OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
