in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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