apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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