i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Need sex. Gaining weight.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
