I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We have so much sex to catch up on
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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