I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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