I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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