I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
pop tarts are not kleenex
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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