we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
