Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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