My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
