I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
