you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You ruined the universe
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
