yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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