I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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