it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's shark week go big or go home
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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