the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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