i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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