i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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