A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
