she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
