How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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