How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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