I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
