we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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