I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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