I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
