I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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