she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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