i already hear my dad disowning me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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