Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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