there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
