I think my vagina is haunted
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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