Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
