I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
