I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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