i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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