I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
