Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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