he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
