Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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