2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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