In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm always down for nudity.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
