Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
