i may or may not be watching the land before time
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
