do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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