He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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