dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
